Julian of Norwich

When I first read JoN, I thought to myself, "Did Julian accidentally consume ergot via moldy bread?" but then again, I thought, it is possible to reach the mystical state that J experienced through other means such as deep meditation, fasting and even through illness (e.g. meningitis has been known to produce hallucinogenic experiences).

J's description of the alternating emotions of sorrow and bliss (14) and the rapidly changing face of Christ (aging./decaying) (15) - these descriptions are extremely similar to the psychedelic experiences I have had while on hallucinogenic drugs which is why I thought ergot/moldy bread..  On my personal experience on sorrow - everyday, my partner and I discuss some aspects of inequality/suffering/social justice issues and so these thoughts are deeply ingrained in me.  As an atheist, I attribute the feelings of deep, deep sorrow I feel to the suffering of the billions of people, animals - our collective suffering (similar to J's interpretation on page 17).  My partner would comfort me when I experience these sorrowful moments and my emotion would often change to one of bliss.  I would burst into uncontrollably laughter.  I attribute this to the beauty that there is in the world, to the hope and the goodness that exists despite the suffering.  If I was a religious person (and not understanding why I am having visions), I can see attributing these very deep emotions to God but since I am not religious, my interpretation of my personal visions is quite different.  I also experience the 'decay' of faces and human bodies.  Again, I attribute this to a secular reason - the natural of birth and death.  What is alive must die but the dead is 'reborn' via decay.  The decay of our flesh becomes sustenance for other living things.  I see it as a beautiful thing and I rejoice in laughter.

I find it interesting that a good number of my classmates expressed a desire to experience the visions of Julian and that they were drawn to the God and Christ that Julian sees.  I can understand wanting to experience such powerful visions - to me, this is psychedelic experience in its highest form in its ability to (hopefully) transform one's self for the better.  A psychedelic experience is a religious experience.   I cannot say that I am drawn to Julian's God.  She is giving too much credit to a supposedly loving God but I am not convinced by her reasoning.

Christ's sacrifice is similar to the highest form of love professed in Plato's Symposium (12, 28).  I think this concept has been misused in many ways.  I am thinking of wars in today's context.  Soldiers who die in wars are relegated to some higher level ('Our military died so we can enjoy our rights today' argument).  Civilians who are murdered by military during war are called 'collateral damage'.  Killing to bring peace and democracy just doesn't sound right to me...  The concept of sacrifice as an elevated being is problematic in many, many ways.  I recognize that this concept is much older than the concept of Christ.

As with many of the religious texts we have been reading, I see this writing as a guide to mitigate our suffering on earth.  Nothing more.

J's desire to suffer is a complete put-off as I view it through my modern lens.  It is so non-lie affirming.  I recall my trip to Sakata, Japan where I viewed mummified bodies of Buddhist monks who starved themselves to death.  It was believed that those who manage to do this and naturally mummify their bodies (by only eating one nut a day underground with little air to breathe) to reach Buddhahood.  I thought about them when reading JoN.